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    Jon Sullivan - The FAQ

    First, Let's go over the rules:

    1) Everything I write here is bullshit. This is by design. I am a cranky bastard. Unfortunately that doesn't fly at work. Or most other places. So this is my outlet. I like to stand in the village square and rant. But since it takes a village to do that, and we don't have a village, I do it here.

    2) Please don't think that you're some special glimpse at the "real Jon". You aren't. You are getting bullshitted. Not that there's anything wrong with that. And of course I may be bullshitting you now. The point to keep in mind? Bullshit.

    3) Lot's of people who I don't know like to come here and leave comments. I think this is cool. But frequently it isn't. Sometimes I'll piss on people just because I'm in a cranky mood. Sometimes I'll say something outrageous just to get someone riled up. Mostly I just ignore everyone who I haven't actually cooked dinner for. The point? This is not a community. We are not friends. I am a hermit, and the fact that I make myself public like this isn't a contradiction of that. No, it isn't.

    4) I don't talk about work here. At all. And I don't talk about politics at work. At all. These are two different world's, and they do not collide.

    5) Do not send me stuffed penguins. It was cute at first, but it has gotten very annoying over the years. Stuffed penguins given as gifts go right to work as erosion control, damp mops, and incendiary experiments. How can I be more clear about this? Do. Not. Send. Penguins.

    Q: Name?
    Jon Sullivan. Spell it John if you want. I don't care. No, it's not short for "Jonathon". Many people seem to have a great interest in why it's spelled this way. Feel free to use your imagination.

    Q: Do you have a job?
    I do. But I'm not going to say much about it, other than that I make a living writing database driven web applications for a defense contractor. These days people get fired for writing about work on their personal journals. So don't expect to hear much about my work. I like it a lot, and find the job rewarding.

    Q: Doesn't it bother you to work for the military-industrial complex?
    Nope. It should. But it doesn't. I support a strong military, and I doubt that will ever happen anywhere without a great deal of waste, overages, and bureaucratic hijinks. I get to do cool work, and I get paid good money to do so. Since finding a carreer you like is one of life's most daunting challanges, I'm not going to let it bother me that my work is marginally related to corruption and bombs.

    Q: Current location?
    San Deigo. I've been here for about four years. It's a great place to live. The housing costs are way too high (an average two bedroom rents for $1200 and an average house goes for $350K). But the culture, food, weather, attractions, and proximity make up for that.

    Q: What software are you using for this site?
    I wrote the software myself. At some point I'll release it as open source under the name "Beltany" and you'll be able to use it to.

    Q: When did you start this site?
    The original site got started around 1994. The daily postings started in 2000.

    Q: Where are you from?
    Born in California. Stayed there till I was 10. Grew up in Montana. Stayed there until I was about 34. Now I'm back in California. What I've learned from this is that both Bakersfield and Helena are tied for the asshole of the US. But Missoula and San Diego are very nice.

    Q: Birthday?
    March 26, 1963

    Q: Do you have a girlfriend?
    Yep. The Snuggle Bat.

    Q: Who the hell do you think you are?
    A cranky bastard. A good web programmer. A passable photographer. An intrepid traveler. A troll. A lover of food and cooking. Nerd, spaz, short, bald.

    Q: Pets?
    I'm not a pet person. I've had cats, fish, and snakes. These things really cut into a person's computer time.

    Q: Are you going to Burning Man in 2004?
    I don't think so. It would have been cool to go during the first few years. But I think it's lost it's mojo by now. Look for me at Defcon, and maybe SXSW.

    Q: What camera did you take those pictures with?
    Various. It lists the camera under each picture. Most of them were taken with a Canon D60. I highly recommend this camera, but the 10D would probably be a better choice.

    Q: Political Party?
    Democrat. But you won't find me defending them much. If you want to argue that they're a bunch of niave, whiny losers, you won't get much disagreement from me. But given the alterantive - Evil Republicans, lunatic Greens, or powerless Independants - I think they are the best people to lead our government. Many say this is picking the lesser of two evils, but it isn't. Only the Republicans are evil.

    Q: Could you share your ability of finding obscure and funny websites?
    Metafilter. Everything worth linking ends up there sooner or later.

    Q: Religion?
    Atheist. If religion gives your world meaning and enriches your life than good for you. I don't have any problem with that. Some of the people I respect most in life are regular church goers, so it would be silly for me to think that religion is silly, indded that it isn't valid and important. But I don't believe any of it. At all.

    Q: Did you really used to be married?
    Yep. Twice. The first one lasted seven years, the second about ten months. Bottomline - I'm great at getting married and I suck at staying married. And that's enough said about that.

    Q: Why are your pictures at a different site?
    I used to have the pictures hosted here, but they ate up huge amounts of bandwidth and slowed the whole site down. I was thinking about moving the whole thing as one piece, but other options made that less attractive. First of all so many people were using the photos that it made sense to make it a standalone resource so that I could customize it for finding pictures. Secondly I knew I'd have to try making so money to cover the hosting costs. Google ads seemed like a good idea for that, but they won't let you put ads on personal sites. Breaking it out just made too much sense.

    Q: How bored are you?
    I'm rarely bored. If I were bored I'd go do something. Why would I want to be bored? I don't understand this complaint when I hear it. Other than an excuse for whining, being bored serves no purpose.

    Q: Are you and your ex-wives still in touch?
    Nope. I wasn't kind to my first wife. Being friends after we got divorced wasn't much of an option. We tried staying in touch and it just wasn't going to happen. My second marriage was a train wreck. Not one of those things I want to linge over.

    Q: What's the most unusual/weirdest thing you have eaten/been asked to eat in your life?
    Nothing much. Cow stomach I guess. No big deal.

    Q: Did you ever have long hair?
    Sure. Halfway down my back at one point. Long hair is very annoying though. Others seem to want me to have long hair, but personally I'm done with it. Too much bother, and it makes me look stupid. Here's a picture.

    Q: Why do you write this stuff?
    No reason really.

    Q: Favorite band? Favorite food? Favorite TV Show? Favorite movie?
    Why is this important? Why do people care about these things? And don't the answers change all the time? I think people who ask these questions are just bored.

    Q: Did you really meet your girlfriend online?
    Sure. Two girlfriends actually. This is quite normal and healthy.

    Q: Where do you get the news?
    MetaFilter. Slashdot. Excite.com. NPR. CNN.

    Q: Why don't you get a life?
    Why would you say that? Are you bored? Am I making you angry? Have you even checked to see if I have "a life"? Or are you just a whiney, bitchy person who can't handle the big scarey world where people don't do things your way? I have more of alife than most people. I have trouble fitting in all the stuff I end up doing. Try to keep up.

    Q: What are your copyright disclaimers?
    I have none. There is no copyright on this site.

    Q: What underwear are you wearing?

    Q: Why do you insist Aspartame doesn't cause brain cancer?
    Well, all peer reviewed studies have concluded it's harmless. There is a rare genetic disorder that it will cause problems with. But if every major agency dealing with food additives and cancer says it doesn't cause cancer, that's good enough for me. Plus the fact that we've been using it for about 30 years now and the cancers it's supposedly causing haven't been turning up. So the only way we could conclude that it causes brain cancer is if we assume that people who drink diet soda just happen to also be immune to brain cancer. Rather unlikely I'd say.

    Q: How come you didn't respond to my email?
    I almost never respond to email. If you've ever gotten an email response from me you are very lucky. I also don't answer the phone. Or the door. Getting ahold of me is pretty unlikely.

    Q: PC, Mac, or Linux?
    Macs lack enough software. Linux is annoying. And PCs are Bill Gates' crime against humanity. I use a PC.

    Q: What places do you frequent online?
    It's in the bookmark list on the side. Generally I'm just looking for the good stuff. It used to be that you had to look hard for things that weren't good online, just because everything was an innovation. But we've gotten jaded and other media have moved in to water down the quality. Which is why I spend a lot less time online these days. It was fun while it lasted.

    Q: What do you look like?
    Like this. Not a pretty picture is it?

    Q: Chicken or beef?
    Chicken. Beef is a bother.

    Q: Would you do a link exchange with my website?
    No. I don't like you. You smell. And you look funny. Go away.

    Q: If you were a superhero, who would be your sidekick?
    Battery Charger Boy. Or Cable Organization Man. On second thought, I probably wouldn't make a very good superhero.

    Q: How many hits a day do your websites get?

    Q: What the deal with you and penguins?

    Q: What do you use to write your web pages with?

    Q: Diet Coke?

    Q: Why don't you sell your pictures professionally?

    Q: Who is your ISP/Host? Do you like/recommend them?

    Q: MOO?

    Q: Can I come visit?

    Q: What's the most annoying thing about the Internet? And the best thing?

    Q: Do you have high speed Internet?

    Q: Why aren't you married?

    Q: Why do you call yourself a Discordian?

    Q: So what's the answer to the world's problems?

    Q: Sport?

    Q: Why the domain "JonSullivan.com"?

    Q: Pizza toppings?

    Q: Why the hell would you publish this?

    Q: So you like to cook?

    Q: When will you get to part two?

    Q: Games?
    Master of Orion. Dues Ex. Rise Of Nations. Call Of Duty.

    Q: When will you get over your ex-wife?
    I have. You haven't. Deal with it and feel free to not include me in the discussion.

    Q: Where do you come up with these questions?
    Most of them are stolen from other web logs around the Internet. If I see a cool FAQ, I steal all the coolnees and put it here. Don't expect me to give you credit for your cool questions or link back to you. Feel free to call me names.

    Disclaimer: (please obey)

    JonSullivan.com is not responsible for your own dumb ass. For best results, don't be a dumb ass.

    JonSullivan.com is not recommended for children under 13. Parents should be aware that this site contains: discussion of sex with blow up animals, gratuitous amounts of profanity, and really wacky shit we can't even classify, much less recommend to little tikes. Expect misrepresentations, false assertions, and malicious deception.

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    Notice: Most interesting, useful, or humorous content found here was stolen from other sources without asking, and no return linkage or credit will ever be given. Unless you are named "Arnold P. Fasnock", you may read only the "odd numbered words" (every other word beginning with the first) of the message above. If you have violated that, then you hereby owe the site owner $10 for each even numbered word you have read.

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