On getting old

by Jon Sullivan - 2021-09-28 - Jonism

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As I've said over and over, the plan was never to get this old. But here I am.... complaining again about not dying years ago.

A couple months ago I felt a pain in my hand like I'd picked up a mild bone fracture. Not unfamiliar. Growing up on a farm, years of being clubbed in SCA combat, 58 years of stubbed toes. I've had my share of bruised and fractured bones. I should know the feeling. But at this point it's obvious it's no fracture, it's arthritis. Not debilitating, and doesn't seem to affect typing, so it won't be a work issue. Not even a big deal so far. But still.... old guy with old person issues is old.

And it's just one more stupid thing I need to fix or live with for the rest of my life. Looking forward to retirement (still years away) I really don't want to spend those years dealing with old person issues that make it hard to get out and travel. I have a bucket list. There's places that need photographing and most of them are not "comfy". If I'm just going to spend retirement sitting in a comfy chair staring at the screen I might as well not retire. But..... reality doesn't care. The passage of time doesn't care. Old is old. So the only way forward is to apply hard work.

Hard work. Lots of walkies so I can hike up to those scenic vistas in Norway. Some weight lifting so my bones don't turn from perceived brittle to actual brittle. Better diet so that my body isn't fighting against every bite I take. But mostly losing more weight so that flying is less like a game of Tetris. None of which will fix itself. And no amount of work will ever be enough, since age and health run counter to each other.

And it's not like I hate any of those activities. I do enjoy walkies. I just lack motivation when the choice is that or staying in bed another hour. And I love cooking, so yummy healthy food is easy. My home cooked meals tend to be super healthy. [food photos don't count] But at the same time a couple delivered gyros with extra meat and tzatziki sauce is just a webpage click away. So easy to not call it junk food. And heck, I had a healthy meal.... a while back....

In the end it's death for us all. Nothing will change that. Life, no matter how precious, is also death delayed. But until then I know I need to start doing more of the hard work. More proactive, less non-active. More work to have a great retirement rather than a retirement where I'm missing all the good stuff due to my love of too many gyros. Meanwhile the work gets harder year by year. And Sony GM lenses aren't going to get any lighter.

It's not a fracture that will heal. It's arthritis which won't. Old people stuff doesn't heal, you just learn to live with it. And time is ticking to get in better shape to help out run it.

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