2025 - The year of recipes

by Jon Sullivan - 2025-01-11 - Food

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Obviously I need to post more recipes. Let's make it count for something. Taking requests.

Last time Trump was president we collectively saved the planet by learning to cook and making more meals from scratch. My logic with that may seem iffy, but going in we were predicting global collapse and WW III, and once he was out he'd only been able to permanently fuck up a few things and make a feeble try to end democracy. Even if we can't really prove that all the new baking didn't save the country, we'd be irresponsible to reject the idea. So, as freedom and equality loving Americans we must cook more. And we'll need new recipes. I'll be posting these recipes in 2025 to do my part to fight tyranny.

These recipes are designed specifically to undermine oligarchy and drive away Trump voters, while also providing a healthy and delicious meal.

• Prawn cocktail - This is of course the iconic dish served in the 1980 classic movie "The Blues Brothers". My version includes brined prawns, fresh ground horseradish and a chili cucumber relish. Need to fight American Nazis? Prawn cocktail to the rescue.
• Chicken fried bagel - Stunt cooking at it's best. Basically fried chicken in bagel form with a schmear of cream cheese. Bastardizing fried chicken in this manner is sure to make a conservative's head explode.
• Sauteed mushrooms - Typically these will be served with a baked brie, but they are good with all sorts of stuff. However, brie is like kryptonite for Trump voters, so I'll use that here.
• Cranberry relish - I make the best. I make mine extra tangy, as liberals prefer. Conservatives couldn't handle this stuff.
• Avocado toast with smoked salmon and shallot relish - Best avocado toast available. Sure to frighten off racists and homophobes.
• Seafood stew - Basically a cheaper easier cioppino I often eat for lunch. Famously created in San Francisco and Berkeley, a bowl of cioppino will enrage a wide variety of bigots and other assholes.

Let me know if there's other stuff I've cooked at events that you'd like the recipe for. No promises, but I'll work on it. Together we can hopefully prevent democracy from being dismantled by Trump racists. One snowflake meal at a time.

If you are a conservative or Trump voter and this offends you. That's the point. My food is not for you.

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