by Jon Sullivan - 2022-11-01 - Status<<<<< previous blog next blog >>>>> album containing this post's photo
Almost daily it hits me in the place where dreams meet reality. We're not in San Diego anymore.
It's in the details. It's in the magnitude. It's in the things known to be true that keep turning out to be false. In the things I couldn't have known until I lived them. In the little shit that's turned out to be big shit. This place, this life, is so different from the comfortable life I've had for the last 25 years. It seems like it's daily adjustments to keep it all together and in the comfort zone. This morning it was just going out for my regular walkies. This was so easy in San Diego, and in Eugene it's a potential mess. Yes, obviously, I knew it would be very different. But for much of it I figured I'd just handle it as it came and make some easy adjustments. Buy a coat, get tire chains, buy milk in stores rather than online. Easy peasy. No, it's been a bit more complicated.
So today I learned.....
Today I learned that a combination of pitch dark, pavement, rotting leaves, and rain is a slippery situation you need to apply more concentration to. This piggybacks on a previous lesson where I learned that there's a sacroiliac (SI) joint in your hip that makes walking blindingly painful when it goes bad. How have I lived 59 years without knowing there are joints in the back of my hip bone? It's been a solid bone for 59 years. Now a hidden joint that barely moves is a life changing issue. WTF life? At any rate, even once it's mostly healed and you can go out for walkies again, it still leaves you limping a bit which makes slippery rotting leaves harder to deal with which makes SI problems worse which makes being old and fat REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING.
Whatever. Moving on. Lose weight and keep exercising, I get it. But you youngsters need to value your youth while you have it. It all gets worse from here. Getting old is basically learning to live with a never ending accumulation of various degrees of suffering. It's like life = Jenga.
At least now I know I can walk several miles in the rain. Will need to get some gators but the rest is working. However, once we get to snow and cold we start the learning process all over again. My morning walk will be in the 30s Weds. Which may mean freezing rain. Which will almost certainly be a new "what the actual fudge am I doing here" moment. I fell twice in San Diego while out on walkies, and it was quite bad each time. Adding ice and freezing rain to the equation will make for some bad math.
It's fine. I'll deal with it. Weather is not going to stop me. Not from adventures. Not from morning walkies. I am out the door. It's just pain and bone fractures. Shit will heal.
The other problem with being alive at this point in time is that my age makes simple cognition an issue. It's quite probable I'm just old and stupid. The myth is that you become old and wise. But much of my wisdom is now wasted since it was focused on life lessons I'd need as a hermit living in a tiny dark apartment with lots of delivery options and no weather. It's quite probable that I'm a total moron when it comes to a life focused on driving into the wilderness in foul weather with dubious gear choices. I've said it for years, and you all laughed at me, but it's true. Winter will kill you. No one should have to live in the perilous conditions I'm committing myself to. Is my possible senility making me a danger to myself and others? Am I so senile at this age that I'm going to just get my stupid ass killed from "adventure".
You can put it on my tomb - "He died doing what he loved - being a stubborn idiot."<<<<< previous blog next blog >>>>>