Building character

by Jon Sullivan - 2019-12-13 - Jonism

<<<<< previous blog         next blog >>>>>

I was mentioning to someone a few days ago that since I grew up on a farm in rural Montana, I'd surely paid my dues in terms of "the simple life". Shoveling animal crap, digging ditches, endlessly fixing endless fences.

They added the assertion that it was at least a great way to grow up, because it "builds character". I suspect that's a popular sentiment. And he seemed taken aback by my claim that, no, it 100% didn't.

Let me say first that I have complete respect for farmers and ranchers. In addition to my family's farm, I've also worked on large farms and ranches. It's demanding, relentless, and backbreaking work. It can also be rewarding to know your hard work is feeding a nation.

But I certainly don't think all that chopping literal tons of firewood, and dealing with the daily random problems farm animals cause, built my character any more than sitting at a desk writing computer code does. In fact I believe the bulk of my "good" character happened well after I left the farm and moved to the city.

To me good character would be defined as an ethical discipline, a quality of honesty, a capacity for hard work, an embracing of things beyond self, perseverance in the face of adversity. Stuff like that.

I remember the farm making me proud of the hard work I did. But I've worked a lot harder in white collar jobs since then. College was certainly harder. Designing automation architectures is certainly harder.

And any ethical discipline and honesty I have came years later. An "honest days work" on the farm just made me feel the only good sheep is a dead sheep, preferably roasted with potatoes and rosemary. It didn't make me actually honest.

I believe "good character" comes from a life rightly lived. Good character is developed, or perhaps beaten into you, by a lifetime of learning from your mistakes, then following that up with better choices. By doing the right thing. By accepting responsibility. By setting and meeting expectations. By learning to value kindness and charity. By cultivating compassion.

As I look back on the years soon after I left the farm, the years when I no longer had to haul water in the winter, no longer had to wash mud or blood off my food, no longer had to herd stupid animals here and there...... When I left, my character was certainly not good. I think it left me a fairly shitty person for many years. It was city life and city work that made me value good character and being a good person.

I have no doubt that others growing up on farms and ranches came away with well built characters. I know plenty of such good folk. But the idea that the simple honest farm life builds character better than city life doesn't seem right to me.

I believe good or bad character is built by you and you alone. You decide whether to be ethical. You decide whether to be lazy. You decide whether to tell the truth. You decide whether to be kind. Good character is not measured by how much animal crap you've shoveled.

Buy prints

<<<<< previous blog         next blog >>>>>
News
Eugene weather
57.49 degrees F, Clouds (overcast clouds)
Min: 56.03 ,Max: 60.73 ,Humidity: 74, Wind: 1.01
Eugene, OR - Best Restaurants
Eugene, OR - Things to do
Eugene, OR - Fish reports
Oregon road conditions
Recent Posts
- Regroup
    The bigots and billionaires won. We lost. What now? 1) don't get crazy, 2) be a safe space, 3) hold on to compassion.
- Copium
    I like to lead an analytical and purposeful life, rather than a reactionary and impulsive one. On Nov 6th 2024 I find myself flailing.
- Gratitude
    I am thankful for so much in my life. As we vote our way into the unknown, I choose to dwell on that gratitude. And be happy.
- The Hobbit Aesthetic
    I am not by nature a camping sort of person. I am a cozy Hobbit hole sort. So camping needs to be less nature and more portable comfort.
- The voice
    For the last few years I've been constantly happy. Mostly.
- Part 3
    The last two posts were about losing my religion and focusing on love and joy. Perhaps there is an even crazier third way.
- Stewing
    Often my posts here are less for faithful readers, and more for me to just figure shit out. That was yesterday's post. I'm still figuring....
Food I Cooked
Old School Blogroll
kottke.org
Home of fine hypertext products.
MetaFilter
A community weblog.
A Chicken Is Not Pillage
You forgot his exclamation point! It defines him. He put it there for a reason, to show how in! your! face! he is.
jessamyn.com
abada abada - twenty years of jessamyn
Matt Haughey
A Whole Lotta Nothing
dooce
Heater, Mother Of Lance
Anil Dash
A blog about making culture. Since 1999.
Some Bits
Nelson's weblog
Everlasting Blort
proud member of the reality-based community
Whatever
This machine mocks fascists
Scripting News
It's even worse than it appears.
Flutterby
Short attention spans in a world full of flowers
mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
Montreal City Weblog
Stupid Evil Bastard
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Idle Words
brevity is for the weak
Making Light
Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.
wilwheaton.net
50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong
Justin Hall
Growing & breaking down since 1994
Mike the Mad Biologist
Helping idiots who desperately need my assistance by calling them fucking morons since 2004
jwz
MSSV
AKMA’s Random Thoughts
Ruminations about hermeneutics, theology, theory, politics, ecclesiastical life… and exercise.
things magazine
An occasional weblog about objects, collections and discoveries
Miscellaneous Heathen
Hold to the now, the here, through which all future plunges to the past.
kimberussell.com
where it's always Virgo Season
Cockeyed
Recent Trips
Getting it ready for you.