by Jon Sullivan - 2022-04-03 - Stories<<<<< previous blog next blog >>>>>
So.... about that random thought format.....
At 58 I've given up on the idea that surely I'll be dead in my 30s. Back in the day, living passed that seemed very unlikely, given my irrepressible self destructive nature. You just don't get to my age if you live your life like I did. You can only get away with it so many times before death catches up and snuffs you. Only so many times can you say, "Shit.... I almost died right there", before you do.
I remember driving back from the Rexburg store in the winter. There was so much snow going thru Targee Pass that the snow plows had basically made a snow canyon. Vertical walls of snow on both sides. Of course the roads were snow packed and icy. I figure there was no point in driving safely since the car would just pinball between the soft snowy walls if I lost control. That theory was tested when I did a 360 at 70 mph. It was just that way with me. Always somehow not dying. Not bragging. It was dumb and selfish. I'm apologetic, not proud.
I think I was in my early 50s when I suddenly realized the ramifications of still being alive. I was going to be old. A thing I'd never wanted. A thing I knew I would hate. It was a fate that frankly disgusted me. But after a few more years I finally came to grips with it. Are we really going to do this??? Are we really going to die from...... just being old???? Yes. We are.
A lot of people say, "I hate being old". Sometimes I wonder if they hate it the way I hated it. "I hate not dying in a boring but fiery car crash." Probably not. "I hate not being shot by a jealous boyfriend/girlfriend." Well maybe... Irregardless, I needed to figure out how to be old and happy at the same time.
Which brings us here. Random old person thoughts as a blog format? I can't do it. It's too easy. Even as I accept that I'll die from something as non-exciting as lying in bed alone, I can't be old and boring. And random thoughts blog posts are just too easy. I like them too. Not much thought, just sit and type as twaddle wafts across my brain. No. I need my posts to have a bit more life to them. Lest I be the boring old fuck I never wanted to be.
Next up - The damn potato problem.<<<<< previous blog next blog >>>>>