Is Jon okay?

by Jon Sullivan - 2022-10-27 - Status

<<<<< previous blog         next blog >>>>>        album containing this post's photo

I seriously wonder. This seems insane. I'm too comfortable with things that were completely avoided a few years ago.

Yesterday I found myself standing in the parking lot of a strip mall and just drinking it in as waves of joy washed over me. I texted my sister - "This is so wonderful. I'm literally standing here in a sea of joy. Like standing RIGHT HERE. So happy." She assumed I had gotten into some questionable mushrooms by mistake. But no. I was just at the mall. Shopping for shirts. Which brought me joy. Then after I got my shirts, and a joy-making hat, and chatted with some delightful store clerks about how wonderful the rain was, I headed to the grocery store to get the fixins for TG test recipes. While there, of course I got some Halloween candy to hand out when the neighborhood children knocked on my door.

Wait...... What...... That can't be right.....

Yep. For the first time in my life I will be handing out candy at Halloween. First time ever. Maybe some of you don't know what this means. For the last 20 years I have avoided answering the door, at all, ever. Sure, if I'm expecting something I need to sign for, or whatever, but that's rare. So with old Jon people would knock on the door and I wouldn't even check to see who it was. They were not welcome, and if I answered it was going to be in a rage at them bothering me. Yet now.... I always answer the door with a smile. And I'll be happily giving treats and fun compliments to children on Halloween until I run out of children. For no reason other than that it's Halloween and I'm pretty sure happy children will make me so happy I may shoot rainbows out my ass.

It would be easier if I could blame some questionable mushrooms.

But I can't, so I'm at a total loss to answer this question that keeps me up at night. But.... it doesn't even keep me up at night. I sleep quite well. What about other symptoms indicating I might be insane and I need to get help?

Feelings of guilt? No, in fact I'm done with guilt, which used to be crippling but is now gone. Sadness or irritability? No, rather the opposite, which I'm sure can be blamed on Stoicism, and is a nice change. Obsession with certain thoughts? Just thoughts of how happy I am, and how that was almost never the case before. Inability to cope with daily problems? No, I get work done, chores taken care of, etc. Daily problems seem to take care of themselves with less effort now. Stoicism again? Problems with alcohol or drug use? No, this is the most sober I have ever been since I was first not sober. Suicidal ideation? No, in fact those thoughts are gone for the first time in a long time. Extreme mood swings? No, it's been joy on tap for a while now. Though one might see me sometimes go from "joy" to joy bubbling over and happy tears spilling out. Unusual, intense feelings? Oh... Okay.... now we have something. YES. Unusually intense happiness. Is that a condition? So should I get that fixed? Can I not please?

I went out for walkies this morning. It was 44 degrees, there was mud and rotting leaves. But I had a great time. It was very nice to get some good exercise. Life seems so good. I guess I'll just enjoy it while it lasts. With winter coming, maybe I'll buy more shirts. More joyful shirts.

<<<<< previous blog         next blog >>>>>
Eugene weather
62.67 degrees F, Clear (clear sky)
Min: 59.25 ,Max: 67.53 ,Humidity: 48, Wind: 8.05
Eugene, OR - Best Restaurants
Eugene, OR - Things to do
Eugene, OR - Fish reports
Oregon road conditions
Recent Posts
- Short takes
    Jon's short attention span has reduced us to blogging in short boring chunks of babble. Thanks Trump......
- Too much
    When I moved to Eugene I assumed I'd be having guests and dinner parties and all manner of things I'd need a guest room and extra furniture for. Pffft.
- Is this thing on?
    I haven't made a blog post in a looooong time. Let's talk about that.
- Throwdown
    Moving to Oregon = Go all the places, take all the photos, eat all the food. I didn't realize I'd be cooking most of it myself.
- The in-between
    I've been all about chasing joy and living my best life. Have I found it? Somewhere between crazy/joyous and sane/dreary?
- Mustard recipe
    PNW is a block of ice. Leaving the apartment might mean death. So, as one does, I made mustard.
- Jon is gassy
    Day 6 of Covid. All symptoms have been replaced by excessive flatulence. My fart cloud and I will continue to self isolate.
Food I Cooked
Old School Blogroll
Home of fine hypertext products.
A community weblog.
A Chicken Is Not Pillage
You forgot his exclamation point! It defines him. He put it there for a reason, to show how in! your! face! he is.
abada abada - twenty years of jessamyn
Matt Haughey
A Whole Lotta Nothing
Heater, Mother Of Lance
Anil Dash
A blog about making culture. Since 1999.
Some Bits
Nelson's weblog
Everlasting Blort
proud member of the reality-based community
This machine mocks fascists
Scripting News
It's even worse than it appears.
Short attention spans in a world full of flowers
mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
Montreal City Weblog
Stupid Evil Bastard
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Idle Words
brevity is for the weak
Making Light
Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.
50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong
Justin Hall
Growing & breaking down since 1994
Mike the Mad Biologist
Helping idiots who desperately need my assistance by calling them fucking morons since 2004
AKMA’s Random Thoughts
Ruminations about hermeneutics, theology, theory, politics, ecclesiastical life… and exercise.
things magazine
An occasional weblog about objects, collections and discoveries
Miscellaneous Heathen
Hold to the now, the here, through which all future plunges to the past.
where it's always Virgo Season
Recent Trips
Getting it ready for you.