The oyster problem

by Jon Sullivan - 2023-01-26 - Jonism

<<<<< previous blog         next blog >>>>>        album containing this post's photo

I hate raw oysters, but I love fried oysters. Much like sushi, raw oysters are just not cooked properly.

The majority of my life I absolutely hated oysters. They are objectively gross. But I remember the moment in New Orleans where I first tried a fried oyster. One of my goals for the trip was to finally try the locally famous oyster po boy. It was incredibly delicious. I went in hoping it wouldn't be awful, and left knowing I needed more of those in my life. And while San Diego is not at all a fried oyster place, the Oregon coast is. Every few miles there's a little shack selling crab and fried oysters and chowder. And I stop at these crab shacks rather often now. Pick up a little to-go box of fried bivalves and eat them on the hood of my car. Like I used to do with taco trucks in San Diego.

Moving to Oregon was like suddenly liking oysters. When I crossed the border at the wheel of the moving van I became someone else. I became a person who sought out things he'd avoided his whole life. I did it shamelessly and recklessly and passionately. I remember walking down the middle of the street in Portland in the wee hours of NYE, and realizing that Portland no longer hated me. As it had for 20 years. And all it took for that to happen was for me to stop hating myself. New Years was a wonderful weekend. There were many many tears of joy. It was one of the best days of my life. And the previous weekend had had another best day of my life. The anxiety and self loathing had been left at the Oregon border. I was new Jon. Happy Jon. Best life.

But then I got fired, in a time where tech jobs are vanishing 10k a pop, in a time where no one is hiring and everyone is firing. [editor's note - I checked, and yes, he knows this is bullshit hyperbole. Something about "don't shit on my artistic license". Like he's a fucking professional author or something.] It brought back all the anxiety and self loathing. All of it. All the shit I'd left at the border got dumped back in my lap. The hermit instincts kicked back in and I shut it all down. My joy was no match for reality.

And now that there's been some time to regroup and peek beyond the moat, I find myself in a place where I reject both worlds. The hermit life was a dead-end of denial and asceticism. The joy on tap life was impractical and ephemeral. Some balance is called for. I need a new plan to meld "best life" with smart life. A more financially responsible way to adventure. A more career focused life until retirement. Healthy and realistic doubt, rather than fear and loathing. More Stoic, less joy.

Or something. While the last three months have been incredible, I'm too cynical a person for that to ever have really been my "best life". So 2022 was a huge and fundamental change for nearly everything in my life. But it didn't last. It wasn't sustainable. Which makes 2023 the year I make it less happiness autopilot and more happiness by design. Perhaps that is more Stoic.

I'll be fine. I've run the math and it all checks out.

<<<<< previous blog         next blog >>>>>
Eugene weather
60.87 degrees F, Clear (clear sky)
Min: 57.25 ,Max: 65.53 ,Humidity: 51, Wind: 9.22
Eugene, OR - Best Restaurants
Eugene, OR - Things to do
Eugene, OR - Fish reports
Oregon road conditions
Recent Posts
- Short takes
    Jon's short attention span has reduced us to blogging in short boring chunks of babble. Thanks Trump......
- Too much
    When I moved to Eugene I assumed I'd be having guests and dinner parties and all manner of things I'd need a guest room and extra furniture for. Pffft.
- Is this thing on?
    I haven't made a blog post in a looooong time. Let's talk about that.
- Throwdown
    Moving to Oregon = Go all the places, take all the photos, eat all the food. I didn't realize I'd be cooking most of it myself.
- The in-between
    I've been all about chasing joy and living my best life. Have I found it? Somewhere between crazy/joyous and sane/dreary?
- Mustard recipe
    PNW is a block of ice. Leaving the apartment might mean death. So, as one does, I made mustard.
- Jon is gassy
    Day 6 of Covid. All symptoms have been replaced by excessive flatulence. My fart cloud and I will continue to self isolate.
Food I Cooked
Old School Blogroll
Home of fine hypertext products.
A community weblog.
A Chicken Is Not Pillage
You forgot his exclamation point! It defines him. He put it there for a reason, to show how in! your! face! he is.
abada abada - twenty years of jessamyn
Matt Haughey
A Whole Lotta Nothing
Heater, Mother Of Lance
Anil Dash
A blog about making culture. Since 1999.
Some Bits
Nelson's weblog
Everlasting Blort
proud member of the reality-based community
This machine mocks fascists
Scripting News
It's even worse than it appears.
Short attention spans in a world full of flowers
mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
Montreal City Weblog
Stupid Evil Bastard
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Idle Words
brevity is for the weak
Making Light
Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.
50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong
Justin Hall
Growing & breaking down since 1994
Mike the Mad Biologist
Helping idiots who desperately need my assistance by calling them fucking morons since 2004
AKMA’s Random Thoughts
Ruminations about hermeneutics, theology, theory, politics, ecclesiastical life… and exercise.
things magazine
An occasional weblog about objects, collections and discoveries
Miscellaneous Heathen
Hold to the now, the here, through which all future plunges to the past.
where it's always Virgo Season
Recent Trips
Getting it ready for you.