Pure fantasy

by Jon Sullivan - 2022-11-29 - Status

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I'm hardly playing video games anymore. Those have been my happy place since I was a child. So.......

The massive blow to the head out in the desert may (or may not) have led to many of my lifelong addictions being cured. And one of those was the huge dependence I had on playing video games for around 20-30 hours a week. 1100+ days /played in WoW. A few BiS toons in Diablo. Full MSQ in FF XIV with about 8 maxed jobs and 30 mil in the bank. Hundreds of MoO games. They were my main comfort for a lot of years. I needed to not be present, I had nothing else to do, and they took me away to a better place. But the last few months have seen almost none of it.

I miss it. I miss charging through RPGs killing wave after wave of demons. I miss playing the auction house in MMOs. I miss the edge of the seat tower defense. I miss the builders and the simulations. I still watch game videos and listen to game music. I just don't have time to actually play much.

Up at 4am for walkies, then a full work day, then a couple hours to decompress and watch videos, research adventures and recipes, work on blog posts or photos, get some housekeeping done. Weekends are out the door at dawn and back home after dark. Then toss in all the New Jon stuff - Concerts, dinner parties, social opportunities, getting set up in this new land. King tides to photograph, snow tires to put on, a whole new town to research and explore. So much stuff I've needed to maintain a calendar to organize it all. Being a hermit was easy, this active lifestyle is hard to adapt to. Being alone made it easy to waste hours in games, but having a normal life brings more obligations than I had anticipated.

Or maybe it's like the alcoholism, and the urge just isn't there any more. I don't really know. Like so much in my life now, I just don't know.

Obviously I can fit in a few hours here and there. But lots of these games don't really fit into 1-2 hour chunks. Rimworld plays best in 5+ hour stretches. A paltry million gil in FF XIV is about 3 hours. Even with blueprints Dyson Sphere Program can eat up 12 hours before you realize it.

I guess this is the part I didn't see coming. The need to actually organize my time and prioritize. What a pain in the ass. But every time I spend an evening or weekend being "lazy" I just feel stupid and dissatisfied. I truly WANT all of this new stuff. I NEED the adventures and photos and events and friends and on and on. And the only way to get it all done is to plan it out and schedule it, then stick to the plan. To be sure, there is plenty of spontaneity. That's part of the joy. Wake up Sat morning, pile gear in the car, then sit behind the wheel and pick a spot to go to. This Saturday will be Mt Hood photos. But I have no idea what or where. I'll figure it out right before I put the car in gear. I love that style and discovery. Just leave and beauty will happen.

Not even sure what the hell I'm whining about here. Oh boo hoo, Jon has too much incredible shit to do, what an f'ing problem. Poor Jon. I get it. But I miss them.

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