by Jon Sullivan - 2022-08-12 - Travels<<<<< previous blog next blog >>>>>
The die is cast. The fates have spoken. I am trading places. Trading what's possible. Trading everything. Trading fates. Nothing is written.
"A man's character is his fate" - Heraclitus
The San Diego years are over. Begun the Oregon years have. Right now. I am insanely excited. And terrified. And lost. And determined. And eager to see who I will become next. Because the stubborn rude arrogant hermit of SD is not going to do well in Eugene Oregon. You don't move to all of this and then bunker down in a dark hidey hole. That would be stupid and I refuse to continue doing it in Oregon.
But....... Holy shit this is a big change. Changing from my beloved and walkable North Park to suburban sprawl. Changing from a desert to a wilderness. Changing from sunny and 75 to actual weather. Changing from everything within 15 minutes to everything within 3 hours. Changing from being bound to my office chair to being bound to my driver's seat. Changing from my perky Mazda 3 to an adventurous Honda Passport. Changing from no dungeness crabs to ALL the dungeness crabs. SCA events are in my future. Camping is in my future. Snow chains are in my future. Portland.
Portland. Famously, Portland does not like me. Doesn't want me. Goes out of it's way to fuck with me. So that will be an adventure as well. Trying to somehow reconcile with Portland. What is it's beef with me? What did I do to piss it off? How can I earn some forgiveness and acceptance? Or will it just hate me forever and I'll need to live with that. Irregardless, I'll be spending a lot of time in Portland. There is a ton to explore there. Maybe we can get couples counseling?
Moving is always stressful. But this one will be so much more than just a move. While I avoid the thought, it can't be denied this may be the last move. Not because I'll love it so much I won't want to leave. But more because I'm old and fat and sort of a mess. Will I live another 20 years? Will I be healthy enough to hop around the globe moving from place to place seeking new adventures or a "next phase"? No one can know. No one can predict getting senile or homebound or..... just too damn old. Too damn old will come, as it does for everyone, but when is unpredictable. Shit happens, especially in an age of global pandemics. Eventually we will all get Covid. Will that alone crash all these hopes and dreams with some long Covid bullshit? Will the next virus pandemic take me out? Or will I just get old, and tired, and out of touch, and have to watch my "Oregon years" phase fizzle out?
But the die is cast. I am trading places. Fate will do what it will do. My choices will, since I'm still Jon, fight against fate. Nothing is written. But that's where the fun is right? Being the story, then writing it down.
"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." - Lemony Snicket<<<<< previous blog next blog >>>>>