Cognitive dissonance

by Jon Sullivan - 2021-03-19 - Jonism

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Despite my whining about virus issues, I'm abnormally happy. My life is abnormally good. Should I get professional help to reset things back to the normal cranky and despondent state?

I was watching a vlog recently that discussed the idea of rules to live by, with one of those being "romanticize everything. Hmmmm........ Romanticize : to think about or describe something as being better or more attractive or interesting than it really is : to show, describe, or think about something in a romantic way. Interesting idea, but certainly not me.

But then I got to thinking, is that what I'm doing? Is that why my life has seemed so good lately? For most of my life I would describe myself as cranky, bleak and dispiriting. Just generally pessimistic about everything. Lately however I've felt absolutely fantastic. My life feels 100% happy and getting happier.

I'm not saying that I skip around the house humming happy toons and grinning. But.... well, not far from it. It's weird. But am I somehow romanticizing everything? Is this some sort of happiness illusion? It doesn't feel like it is. I don't think it is. And obviously I'm still sad about what I see as the death of democracy last year, and the anti-vax hysteria. That has little to do with my life though, it's just current events. And it's easy to distance myself from it. I'm not going to end racism. I'm not going to be the mask/vaccine police. So that ugly crap is over there, and my happy life is over here.

Is that romanticizing? I don't think so. I think it's just being pragmatic.

And if I think about it subjectively, the balance sheet of my life seems pretty damn good. Being a hermit in lockdown = happy place. Finally having retirement as a possibility = happy place. Having a good job during dystopian times = happy place. I'm looking at this $2000 Sony 50mm F1.2 GM lens and I can't convince myself that it would be irresponsible = happy place. WoW still going strong, in reasonably good health, homemade pizza game on point, no longer alcoholic, all = happy place.

It just...... feels weird.....

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