by Jon Sullivan - 2022-12-05 - Jonism

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It's becoming more obvious that I need a schedule.

In San Diego there was no reason for a schedule. Nothing really needed to happen on time. I might feel like a trip would be fun, but it could happen any time in the next several months. Sometimes I'd go for walkies, but mostly not. I'd buy in bulk and usually make soup for lunch, so planning for meals wasn't a thing. Everything was delivery, so I'd just wait till I needed something. No events, no dinners, no parties. Life was simple. Here in Oregon it's not so simple. Concerts, dinners, trips, photos, chores, workouts, shopping. Need to get into the gym more. Need to cook real meals more. We're going to need to apply more planning and commitment.

So.... yet another skill I let atrophy over the years.

So..... reality settling in. It's still crazy beautiful here. Still feels like the best choice. Still has the Stoic secret sauce to make me feel at one with all of it. But it's not easy, especially when compared to being a hermit with no weather and no other humans. And it's all going to require a formal schedule and commitments to make it work. When other people are involved you can't just wing it and blow off activities on a whim. Or you can, but then we're back to old Jon, making the whole move a bad idea.

Fine. I'll do it. I'll set up a daily routine and be a real adult. I'll keep the house clean. I'll go out all weekend. I'll get into the gym most days. I'll finally get the fishing and crabbing underway. I'll make a to-do list. I'll go shopping and eat more than soup. I'll accept that my best life doesn't have much room for lazy.

It's ironic. One of the reasons to live here was all the things to do and see and learn. But now that I'm here and doing it I miss the option to just be completely lazy. Chasing after a best life is largely about learning and growing and adapting. It's about gaining new options and rewards. But at the same time it's about losing all the casual lack of responsibility I'd built up. When you open the blinds and let the sun shine in, you gain some light and beauty, but you also lose the option to skip housekeeping for weeks at a time. Dusting. I need to schedule dusting.

So the learning and growing continue. Sometimes in magical ways, like discovering seasons can be beautiful. Sometimes in annoying ways like needing to plan things. Yes, it's fun to just hop in the car and go. But then you risk messing up some other plan. Or you waste hours by spontaneously driving three hours to something only to realize the trip is a mess and should have had more structure. Or you realize prioritizing things is the only way to get it all done, and that doing everything just isn't going to just happen by itself.

So I guess we're at the next stage of the new life - Needing to be an adult about it.

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